I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself

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hippopotamus-hi-tops:

things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:

  • get out
  • fuck you
  • shut the fuck up
  • oh my god why
  • you need to stop
  • you’re not funny
  • that was terrible
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Your lips tasted of innocence and I was your ice cold finish

— smilebecauseitsbeautiful  (via smilebecauseitsbeautiful)

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  • me during the summer: is today wednesday or sunday
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(Source: orangeis)

whilted:

spaece:

✦⋆ more here ⋆✦

Wish you were here
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monetizeyourcat:

magicpottybaby:

sizvideos:

TL;DR : Watch this incredible story in video

holy fuck! so how did the penguins taste?????

this is the cutest video in the entire world. this seal is just so afraid for this dumb weird baby she thinks she’s found out in the ocean. have a bird. have another bird. no, see, eat the bird! the bird is food! why won’t this stupid baby eat. open your mouth you idiot baby i will feed you bird if it’s the last thing i do

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sassykardashian:

"mom, I’m hungry" "make yourself something"

image

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